Thursday, 01 October 2009

  • Oh, the irony.

    Laryssa: So yesterday I fell asleep in my Chemistry lecture. I felt horribly about it so I came to today's section of it. But I fell asleep in there too.

    Laryssa's friend on the phone: You need to focus your attention on something in there so that you don't keep falling asleep. Even if it's not on something related to the lecture. I mean, at least you'll hear stuff slightly if you're awake.

    Laryssa: Well, I got a glimpse of some guy's really nice tush before he sat down. But that only did me good for about the first five minutes of class.

    Laryssa's friend on the phone: His what?

    Laryssa: Tush!

    Laryssa's friend on the phone: Oh, I thought you said, "crutch." And I was thinking to myself, What appendage could she possibly be referring to?

    Laryssa: (laughing)

    Laryssa's friend on the phone: I mean, my mind was going all over the place, 'Does he have three legs? Is she exaggerating something?'

    Laryssa: (laughing harder)

    [a knock on the door]

    Laryssa's friend who lives down the hall, who is nuts about Halloween and was already trying on her costume, was coming to ask for Laryssa's opinion on said costume. Laryssa opens the door, to see her friend dressed up and some hobbled old woman with, yes, a crutch, and her friend asks

    "Does this skirt make my tush look too big?"

    I wish I were lying.

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